Tag: parenting

Timescale according to a five year old – Part 2

  “I like eating rice, Mummy, just like Chinese people. Don’t I?” “Yes, Darling.” “You know, Mummy, we could go to China.” “Maybe one day. That would be fun.” “Let’s go tomorrow!”   *************************************************************************************************************************   Knowing how much she loves birthdays I said, “Did you know it’s the Queen’s birthday today!” Sophie, eating her Cheerios,…

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Why don’t teenagers come with a manual?

On my living room floor, there is a pile of roasted and salted peanuts. Looking a little more closely I can see some cashew nuts too. It’s quite a heaped pile. A bowlful I’d say. What they’re doing on the living room carpet just underneath the bay fronted window, I have no idea. They’ve been…

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Wash and flush… it’s not always a good idea

“Have you washed your hands?!” “Have you flushed?!” Two questions that are constantly spouting from my mouth because nine times out of ten she hasn’t done either of these things, and with the toilet being downstairs she hasn’t got far to go to rectify these things. (Even if it means all she’s doing is turning the tap…

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17 signs you’ve been watching WAY too much CBeebies

You become fascinated by some new knowledge you have gained from ‘Nina and the Neurons.’ You miss Sid. You wonder what on earth Katy has done to her hair THIS time! You begin sentences with, “You’ll never guess what happened on ‘Abney and Teal’ today!” You hear the theme music to Chugginton and say out…

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A day in the life of a sleep-deprived mum

05:30 Wake up after having been up with Oliver crying until 3am and begin worrying about my job interview this afternoon. 08:45 Hear elderly disabled neighbour shouting for help because water is pouring through the bathroom and kitchen ceiling of her one bedroom flat and her electricity has gone. 11:30 After dealing with landlords, the…

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How to react when your five year old uses the ‘C’ word.

My five year old daughter has just said the word ‘Shite!’ She’s looking extremely proud of herself: face beaming, pigtails bouncing as she shovels her favourite pizza and chips into her mouth whilst kneeling up to the kitchen table on the tallest dining room chair that we own and sitting right next to her, clearly…

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God Vs Father Christmas

It’s the middle of February and Sophie is writing her Christmas list. I say ‘writing’ but what I actually mean is she’s ‘drawing’ her Christmas list. This isn’t because she can’t write – far from it, she actually keeps a diary and writes in it every day – but, drawing is a much quicker way…

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The Problem with Reward Certificates

“Mummy? Guess what I’ve got?” Sophie’s sing song voice calls from the front door. I’m in the kitchen feeding Oliver and can just imagine her cheeky smile and wide eyes, giving a sideways look as she says it. I reply as singsongy as her, “What is it?” Somehow I don’t quite get the pitch or…

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A Guide to Inspiring your Children’s Future Aspirations

“Mummy! Oliver’s leaking!”   We’re in the car on the way back from school. There’s no way of turning myself round to check on the little man who I’m certain is fine so I ask,”Is he leaking from his mouth or his eyes?”   “Mouth! Eurgh, it’s white!”   “Oh, it’s just a bit of…

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